Would you like to know what the best cure for a nagging wife/mom/sister is?
DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO.
Most of the time I absolutely LOVE being a stay-at-home mom. I work really hard to make my family's life flow easily, to make a nice, clean home for them to live in, to decorate the house to create a peaceful environment, blah blah blah. But how peaceful is it going to be when I'm nagging all the time?
Not peaceful at all.
When it was just Josh and Sawyer here with me, I didn't mind cleaning up messes and organizing. I loved cooking and doing the laundry. Heck, I used to wash curtains just to have something to do! Fast forward a year-and-a-half later, Sawyer is older and makes much larger messes, Sofia is older and making messes, and Isaiah is a teenage boy... need I say more? I do need to say he doesn't really make messes and he cleans his own laundry and room. You'll see his list in a few.
Hold on, let me go get my bowl of Kix with chocolate chips... This is gonna be a bumpy ride.
There are Ten solid rules that no matter how hard I try, they feel they must live by. So here are our Ten Commandments.
1. Thou shall fill up any open space on shelves, coffee tables, dressers, desks, etc...
This is a pet-peeve to the max for me. It's something we've struggled with since day one of our marriage. But here's the thing, I've realized it's not just Josh. It's the kids too!
"Hey, look at this beautiful shelf with home decor and color coded books! It's the perfect place to dump all of my crap!" I grew up in house with lots of extra stuff, so clutter drives me crazy! I don't even know what to do with half of Josh's stuff. He has (last I counted) 8 pocket knives. What do I do with those? Not to mention the screwdriver, watches, packs of gum, trash, receipts, and other crap. It's too much! There's a place for all of those things! And the kids.... Apparently toys don't belong in their rooms in the toy boxes that are available. Nope, they go on the coffee table.
2. Thou shall throw all laundry anywhere but the hampers.
I have to admit, I do it too, but I'm also the one who cleans up the messes. I know, "lead by example", but I have to lead by example so much, I figure I should get some slack with laundry.
I find laundry under the couch, in bathroom floors, under beds, once I even found clothes in the freezer. (I'm guessing Sofia did that.) If a hamper is not available, make a pile where the hamper usually sits.
3. Thou shall half-ass all homework and chores.
I understand hating homework and chores as a teen. Hell, I still do. However, they are necessary evils. If I ask you "Did you do your homework?" what I mean is, "Did you do all of your homework, to the best of your ability, don't lie to me." Also, chores.... If you know I'm going to check, wouldn't you do it right the first time? Or at least not lie about doing it? YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO CHECK! You're going to get caught! I don't understand it.
4. Thou shall proceed to flip out at Heather if something gets lost.
Here's the thing... If YOU lost it, I can't guarantee I'll find it. I'm not in charge of your phone, toy, homework, etc.... I already have enough to do besides find your stuff.
5.Thou shall hover over the cook in anticipation of food.
Back off... I'll let you know when dinner's done. I always have, I always will. Company in the kitchen is welcome, but do not get within 3 feet of me. ( Unless it's for a hug or kiss. I never get tired of those.)
6. Thou shall yell at the person who wakes you up in the morning.
I don't want to wake anyone up in the morning unless I have to. I would rather let everyone sleep while I drink my coffee and blog or watch my shows. I'm doing my family a favor by making sure they get to their respective places on time. I cringe when I flip the boys light on because Sawyer yells almost every morning and Isaiah gives me the go-to-hell look. I would rather throw a pillow at Josh and run, then leave the house for an hour so he can wake up. I have NEVER met a person who hates mornings so much. I try and wake everyone up in the nicest, calmest way possible, but when I'm telling you for the third time to get up, I lose my patience. So, can you guys just make it easier on me, please? After all, the only thing I'm asking you to do is wake up.
7.Thou shall get annoyed when a bill is forgotten...
...or when anything is forgotten for that matter. I have a lot going on in my head, I can't remember everything, and yes, that unfortunately includes important things sometimes. I understand people getting frustrated in that situation, but getting annoyed isn't going to make it better. A simple, "I understand, you have a lot on your plate. Would you like me to do it?" Or, "Mom, it's okay, we can take care of it." would help the situation so much! Most likely, I'll turn your offer down out of pride, but then I won't feel like I need to get defensive.
8. Thou shall only focus on the things that aren't done.
Laundry? I hate folding it. However, silver lining? It gets washed! There's so much that I get done in one day, but it's easy to not see what did get done and focus on what didn't. Josh is super awesome when he understands that I've done a project instead of cleaning. I was productive on something different that day. Good job! Mix it up! The kids however, are a different story. "Mom! You didn't wash my footie pajamas!" Sawyer completely ignores the other 10 pair of pajamas he has clean. "Mom! You didn't find my show and tell toy!" "Son, that's your responsibility."
9. Thou shall get annoyed when errands must be run.
I hate doing them, too. But they have to be done, sometimes by myself, sometimes with Josh, sometimes with the kids. Being huffy about it, puts me in a bad mood when I already was dreading it as much as you were.
10. Thou shall get into everything that does not belong to you.
Today I have gotten onto people for getting into my:
Paperwork
Phone
Candles
Food
Bedroom
Paint (Sofia drank it. After an ER visit and a cute picture of her covered in blue paint, she's a-okay.)
and Scissors
I have few things that I get to myself. If I tell you not to touch it, that's because it's MINE. A mom has to put up boundaries. Mine were crossed today and I'm still grumpy about it.
So there are our Ten Commandments... What are some of yours?
-Heather
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