The Kind of Woman I Want My Daughter to See

The day I found out that I was having a girl, I panicked.
For one thing, I had no idea how to raise a girl. I had been surrounded by men folk for the last 5 years.
But what also had me scared, was the fact that I knew how hard life was going to be for her. 

I knew that the world would have opinions about how she should act, dress, speak, etc... and that she would struggle with how SHE felt she should act, dress, speak as well.

For years (actually, up until this morning) I thought the word "feminist" was a bad word. Not because I don't believe in equality or that women are powerful creatures,  but because I had bought into the lie that we should be gentle, quiet, and always pretty.

If you know me, you know that I am none of those things, but I thought I should be. Then the guilt would set in. 

Growing up, my mom was vehemently against men. She loathed them, berated them, and emasculated them, all in the name of feminism. That was what I thought feminsim was and that was how men should be treated. Then, when  when I married my husband, I thought that that was how I should treat men. That he should cater to my every whim because "I am woman, hear me roar."

You can imagine how well that went over. 

Yeah, like a turd in a punch bowl. 

So, I thought, "I need to fix this!" Then, I went in the complete opposite direction. I read every article I could about "being the wife that your husband wants" and "how to make your home a haven" and at some point, everything became about him, about me trying to please him in every way possible. Not that he asked for it, mind you. He's always along for the ride on Heather' crazy train, so he thought that I was happy. And I thought I was, too. And I was most of the time. 

Now, here I sit with an almost 4 year old daughter. With no direction on how to be a woman myself, how am I supposed to teach her all of the wisdom that she'll need to take this world by storm and accomplish all of her goals?

I'm going to show her. 

I'm going to show her that the same hands that change the oil are the same hands that wipe tears and hold my family close...

...that the home that I've spent years decorating and fussing with was created by me tearing up carpet, moving heavy furniture, and putting in hard work...

...that the lawn that is picture perfect most days was created by me sweating and getting filthy while mowing the lawn, trimming trees, and planting plants...

...that the decor in the house was created by me and my hands, not just something pretty that I bought at the store...

...that I can fix a clogged drain and put on makeup all in the same 10 minutes...

...That it's okay to cry and have completely irrational moments...

...That it's okay to have a hobby, even though some see it as selfish...
...That it's okay to walk away from a bad situation even though the world will tell her to stay and fix it...
 

...That it's okay to not wear makeup everyday...

...That it's okay to have an opinion and not apologize for it...

...That it's okay to take time for herself to do what she enjoys...

And most importantly, that it's okay to be the kind of person she wants to be, whether it makes sense to anyone else or not. 

I understand feminism now and it's a  powerful stance.
I can do anything I put my mind to and I can do it all while looking pretty...

...if I choose to.

Dear Sawyer : The Truth About Santa

My dear Sawyer,

I knew this day would come sooner rather than later for you.
You've always been a seeker of truth, and I knew Santa would be on that list somewhere. 

Today I watched you struggle with the question "Is Santa real."

After much thought, I'm ready to tell you what my mom told me when I finally asked the same question many years ago.  Through tears she told me, "Santa is very real. He lives in our hearts as kindness, joy, giving, unity, and love. As long as you believe in those things, Santa will always be real."

You see, for the last six Christmas eves, it was your dad and I who gladly wrapped your presents and ate the cookies you so thoughtfully left for us. It was the perfect end to our night and we always have looked forward to it. 

My parents did the same for me and some day you will do the same for your children. Someday you will have the same talk that we're having now. It will probably make your heart hurt a little, because you will realize that your kids will be growing up. I know this because this is how my heart feels right now. But it's a good hurt, I promise. It means you're on the right path.

Now that you know our secret, we must make sure that it stays just that... a secret. We want the magic to remain for younger kids who can't quite grasp who Santa really is. I know we can trust you. 

When your dad was young, he didn't get to celebrate Christmas like you and I did. He didn't understand the magic of this time of year... that is until your first Christmas. Watching you through the years making Santa cookies and reindeer food, writing and burning your magic Santa letters, and the excitement you and your sister have has changed him. He has a twinkle in his eye now that wasn't there before you. I know you're ready to know the truth about Santa, because you already have the Christmas magic in your heart. 

For years I thought we were making magic for you, but oh, sweet boy, it's so clear to me now. You brought the magic to us. 

Thank you forever for that. 

We love you. 

Love, Mom and Dad

New Year Resolutions

Yep, it's that time of year, when we all reflect on the happenings of the year that is now dwindling to its close.
I've never been a resolution type of gal, mainly because I can't stand the thought of not completing my goals.
But, with age comes wisdom, and I realize now that any progress towards a goal is just that... progress.
Progress means growth, it means change.

So, here it is, my resolutions list for 2015.

1. Stop pleasing everyone else
This sounds like a selfish resolution, doesn't it? And it kind of is to be honest. It's mostly aimed towards my marriage, which makes it seem even more awful. But somewhere along the way, instead of being a wife to Josh, I turned into a mother. I pick up his laundry, I make his sandwiches, I make sure he has everything he needs before he leaves the house. Simply speaking,  I've lumped him in with the kiddos. Not on purpose, but it happened nonetheless. On top of that, I consider his opinion far too much on certain  topics. I won't buy clothes if I don't think he'll like them. I won't buy certain foods if I don't think he'll eat them. It goes on and on. These are thing he doesn't care about, and these are things that won't actually effect him if purchased, but would send me over the moon if I bought.
So, next year, if I like it, I buy it.
And he can take care of his smaller needs on his own, because he never asked me to do those things in the first place, and I have enough to take care of. 

2. Stop apologizing all the time
I apologize constantly. The apologies are sincere, but unnecessary. I didn't realize it until I went back to work and coworkers mentioned it. But now I have, and I hate it, so I'm working on it. 

3. Be healthy
This does not mean losing 30lbs or running a half marathon. It means making good choices in food, drinking water, drinking tea more often than coffee, and physically exerting myself by doing things that make my body feel good. I'm not doing this to look good, I'm doing it to feel good. 

4. Be a storybook mom
I'm a cranky mom. I am. I'm strict, and I yell... a lot. I haven't always been this way, but I am now, and this is not how I want my kids to remember me, and this is not how I want them to learn what kind of parent to be. I want to be the kind of mom you see in the Nick Jr shows, who have soft voices, move gently, and let their kids make tough choices on their own, after getting sound wisdom nuggets, rather than trying to control everything.

Which brings me to...

4. Make magic
I want to be intentional in my parenting. My kids will only be this little once. I want to see wonder and amazement in their eyes, and as their mom, I have the power to make that happen.
And I'm going to.

5. No gossip
This one is pretty self explanatory. 

6. Read the entire Bible
Eventually I will study the entire Bible, but for now, I just want to know what's going on. I hear people telling stories about this person and that person, and I don't know who they're talking about or what story it is. So now I'm going to find out. 

7. Be in nature more
I used to hang out in the woods constantly as a child. Now I'm only outside if I'm doing yard work. Nature brings me peace and clarity, something I had forgotten until I went hunting with the hubs recently. I loved just sitting there watching everything. I want more of that. 

8. Read one book a month
I'm not a reader. I just never have been. It takes too much time and I have the attention span of a gnat. But I want to love reading, so I feel like this resolution may help me in that endeavor. 

9. Pay off credit card
We hit a rough patch over the last few years and we turned to the plastic devil known as the credit card to help get us through. We have less credit card debt than some people, but we want none. So we'll be busting it to get rid of mine. 

10. Start a YouTube channel
I've been approached in the past to start making trial-and-error videos of me crafting or baking (because when things go wrong, I can be dramatic and comical about it), so I've finally decided that this is the year to try it out.
Josh and I have also toyed with the idea of making videos of us singing together, but that will take some time to hammer our those details. I make no promises, but hopefully this will work out. 

11. Speak like an adult
Okay, parents, you'll relate to this one. When your kids start talking and learning new vocabulary, you start speaking like them. Toilet will turn into potty, thumb tack will turn into pokey, and you will start speaking in a tone that makes you sound like you're auditioning for a Disney movie. Other adults won't understand and the shrill, cartoon voice will begin to grate on your own nerves. I'm putting a stop to this now. 

And finally, 12. Get ready first thing in the morning
I tend to shower and change clothes right before I have somewhere to be. Sometimes this means I don't get dressed until 3 in the afternoon. That's gross. My day starts as soon as my feet hit the floor and I don't have time to get dolled up right away. But I feel better when I do! So I'm going to make time. 

Whew! I had a longer list than I realized, but it's a list that will help better me as a person, so it's totally worth it.

I would love to hear what some of your resolutions are! You can comment here or share with me on my Facebook page! 

Find it HERE!

Crunchy Peanut Butter

"Can we please get cruchy peanut butter this time?"
"Crunchy peanut butter? When did you start liking that?"
"What do you mean? It's always been my preference."
"Then why do we buy smooth?"
"Because you hate crunchy?"
"No! I hate smooth. Crunchy is my favorite, too."
"The last 8 years have been a lie!"

Folks, this was a conversation that Josh and I had at the grocery store this summer.

Eight whole years of buying smooth peanut butter, just to please the other person (or so we thought.)

Some may view this as a sweet moment between us where we sacrificed our own happiness to make sure the other person got what we thought they wanted.

I see this as more of a communication break down between us.

This isn't the first time this has happened.
You see, there have been many times throughout the last few years that we've run across the truth about what the other person likes.

We don't know how this miscommunication happens, but I think it comes down to the kind of people that Josh and I are. We like to please the people that we care about.

Let us go back to the summer of 2005, when Josh and I were just dating. At the time, he liked what I now refer to as "whiny girl music", but is actually called the  emo or screamo genre.

I hate it. It makes me cringe.

I can say that now. Back then, however, I wanted him to like me, so I thought I needed to submerge myself into all of the stuff that he liked. Whether it was his music, style choices, or food choices.

I've always been this person, and so has he. We have our own opinions, but for the sake of any relationship, we tend to keep that to ourselves.

Fast forward to 2014, we are far more comfortable with who we actually are as individuals.

I can tell him that I prefer country music, or that I would rather sit at home and craft with a sappy movie on than go to a concert.

I think that happens to everyone our age, whether they're in a relationship or not.

Our 20's are meant to be the time where we're finding ourselves.
At eighteen (the age Josh and I were when we met), you think you know who you are.
At least until you finally have your own place and you have to stock your refrigerator for the first time.
(I had no idea what I actually liked to eat. I only knew what I could make out of the ingredients in other people's fridges.)

Then, as you get older, there are more specific points where you finally say, "I don't like ____, so why am I doing ____, or buying ____, or hanging out with ____.

It's wonderful and liberating.

But, it's also confusing. Like when you're married and you realize how much YOU'VE changed, you then begin to wonder how much YOUR SPOUSE  has changed as well. It brings forth interesting conversations.

Like what kind of peanut butter you actually like.

As Josh and I approach our 9 years anniversary in less than a month, we've been reflecting on our first 5 years together.
They were hard and although there were fun times, it was more work than anything. We were learning about ourselves and each other (without the falsities in place), adulthood, and how a healthy marriage should work, all while taking care of 401ks, babies, and a mortgage. 

Whew! It was exhuasting!

But now, 4 years later, we know the other one so well, that even as we grow and change as individuals, we know that the other one will be right alongside for the ride and will enjoy (almost) every moment of it.

It's a great time of life for our marriage. It's a comfortable, safe, well-oiled machine. We have put in the work and have the experience, so now, we can sit back and take on life together.

The moral of the story, friends, is that nothing good comes easily. Marriage takes work, determination, love, faith, grace, and forgiveness.

It takes open conversations, honesty, and flexibility.

For your spouse to truly love you, then need to know who you are in that moment, even if who you are changes down the road.

Enjoy the growth. It's what makes us continue to be interesting. It's what fans my flames when I see Josh take up a new hobby or see him assert himself over an issue I didn't even know he was passionate about.

Whew, am I on fire for that man!
*fans self*

Embrace who you are and embrace who you are becoming.

Then do the same for your spouse.

Then bring me some crunchy Peanut butter, because now I'm hungry.

Picture source: http://www.seriouseats.com/2010/09/quiz-how-much-do-you-know-about-peanut-butter.html

Am I Good Enough?

 I woke up this morning after a terrible night's sleep. As I groggily scrolled through my Facebook feed, a gorgeous exotic looking woman's face showed up suddenly. 

She had friended my husband on Facebook. 

Let me put this out here now. I absolutely trust my husband and he has every single right and liberty to add whoever he wants on Facebook. He has never, ever given me any reason to be paranoid about what he's up to. He loves me and treats me like I'm the only woman on this Earth. 

So why, when I saw that he had added her, did every single insecurity that I have ever had about myself instantly creep into my mind and make me not doubt him, but myself?

I have absolutely no idea. That's why I'm writing this. I know I'm not alone in this. 

Our husbands at one point decided (consciously) that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with us and (subconsciously) that our genes would make awesome babies together (which we were right about if I say so myself.) 

My husband is included in this universal gathering of hormones, pheromones, and decisions, so why do I feel threatened? 

I think that it has nothing to do with our marriage. 

I think that it has everything to do with feeling like I can't live up to the stereotype of what the perfect woman is. 

Immediately, my thoughts were "Wow, she has really great clothes and look at that body! Her skin tone is gorgeous and flawless. How does she manage to not have bags under her eyes? And holy crap! Her eyebrows are perfectly symmetrical!"

Then it went a little deeper and I thought, "I bet she's a great decorator. She's probably a lot of fun, too. She probably bakes often and would make a romantic Saturday breakfast meat bouquet for her man. And she went to college according to her about-me page. I couldn't even finish one semester."

I stopped myself at that point and made a mental note of all of the areas that I could improve in: fitness, home keeping, romance, hair, makeup, education, and broadening my interest category beyond parenting and Dr. Who. 

I then caught the mess of myself in the mirror backsplash in the kitchen and said outloud to myself, "Goof grief, you look terrible. You suck and you need to try harder." 

Wait, what?

I'm typically certain of my strengths and since I've had insecurity issues in the past, I try really hard to affirm to myself the good qualities that God blessed me with to bring into the world. 

And it usually works. 

But this morning I gave myself a mental beating and it felt horrible. 

So, my question is, why do we women do this to ourselves? I obviously can look at one picture of a woman who looks put together and discern that she is an amazing woman who is capable of far more than I am, even though I know nothing about her. Then, I am able destroy myself in less than 10 minutes because of this imaginary life I have assigned to her. 

I am a person who assumes that what I see is what I get, because that is how I am. Anyone who knows me, knows this is true. I apply this to blogs that I read, pictures that I see, pins that I pin. 

I forget sometimes that a picture only tells party of a story. 

That blog post could have been written and re-written to put the best of that person's story out for the world to see. 

That that pin of that perfect recipe or craft may have started with cake thrown at a wall or acquiring blisters from hot glue guns. 

I forget these things. 

I know them, but I forget them. 

I think that why insecurities creep up like they do, because we forget that we're all humans. 

We forget that this world is a collection if beautiful messes. 

As I sit on my porch, I'm looking around at all of God's perfect imperfections. 

The spiderweb that is glistening with dew that at first glance is beautiful, in fact, has  crooked webbing and holes in it. 

The mountain in the distance is full of dips and crevices, not perfectly smooth like it seems from miles away. 

The maple tree with it's leaves changing across the street has broken branches, twisting limbs, and perfectly symmetrical eyebrows. 

Just kidding. I wanted to see if you were still paying attention. 

My point is, all of these beautiful creations are beautiful because they are imperfect. They would all be so boring if they looked the same, and in fact, their flaws are what made them stand out and be noticed in the first place!

That's my take away. 

My husband chose me because I was different. My flaws are endearing to him or he was so floored by the good things I'm capable of, that he never noticed the flaws in the first place. 

Thank you, friends for letting me write out my thought process yet again, and I hope that this helps any of you that are having a morning like mine. 

Until next crisis,

Heather

Rate Me Pls...

 As a youth leader in my church, I've befriended many of the teens in our youth group on Facebook. I love seeing what they're doing and  pictures of them with their families. This helps me to be a part of their lives and them be a part of mine. It's being able to know if they're going through hardships outside of the church setting, where we are available 24/7.

This seems like an amazing thing, right?
Well, of course it is, silly!

However, there's been a trend popping up among every single teen I have befriended: Asking people (sometimes strangers) to rate them.
It ranges from asking people to rate their looks to whether or not they're dateable.

It seems innocent, and yes, I realize that since I'm 28, I "don't get it", and that's probably true.
But dear teens who are reading this, the reason that I "don't get it" is because I've been where you are and I've had "like a million years" to become comfortable with who I am. So, what I don't get, is why are you basing your existence on A) Other people's opinions, and B) Shallow things that are not important in the grand scheme of enter your name here?

Here, let me try an experiment, okay?

I'm going to try and read your mind for a minute.

 Just roll with it.

Let's go over some of the things you might worry about in a day, okay?
Now, I'm specifically going to be speaking with the girls in these details, because, well, I wasn't a teenage boy.

*Are my clothes the right brand?
*Will people find out that my house/car/parent's employment isn't as good as their parents?
*Is my breath okay?
*Did so-and-so see me Saturday in my sweats without makeup?
*Will someone make up a new rumor about me today?
*Do I smell good?
*Where the heck did that zit come from? And will people look at it instead of the rest of my face?
*Should I lie to my parents so I can go do that really fun thing that I KNOW they'll say no to?
*Will people make fun of my religion?
*I don't really want to make fun of someone else, but everyone else is. Maybe I should join in?
* Is my boyfriend looking at another girl?
* If I don't do what he wants, will he find someone else?
*My friends are being weird today. Are they turning on me?
*Maybe I'll blow off studying for that test so I can go do something fun and social.

You get my point, right? Yes, these are things I thought  as a teenager, yes, these may not be your thoughts because I'm a thousand years old and times have changed, and yes, I've always been a people pleaser and have always had confidence issues.

But  you know what?

I was MISERABLE as a teenager, guys!
Would you like to know why? Because I was focused on what other people thought of me instead of what I thought of myself!

However, as a 28 year old woman, that's all changed, because, well, my perspective has changed.

This is where the whole "she doesn't get it" thing factors in.
I had all of those issues and that was before Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr, etc...

I was able to come home after school and surround myself with friends and brush off the rest of the day. You guys have it rough! You not only have to deal with all of these issues at school, but then you come home, log on to the computer, and have to sometimes deal with all over again.

So, here's my question to you:
Why do you need a rating?

You aren't a restaurant, hotel, or business on Yelp.

You are a person. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. Your "rating" should be your opinion of yourself. Plain and simple.

Instead of wondering how you rate, wonder instead about "Did I make a difference to someone today?", "Did I learn something new about the world today?", "Did I learn something new about myself today?", "Did I help someone who needed it today?", "Did I accomplish all that I could today?"

These years for you guys are crucial. You're in survival mode right now. You just try and make it through the day some days. These years are put in place so us "old folks" to help you along, so you can get a lot of things figured out about yourself before being launched into the grown up world.
When we give advice, wanted or not, it's from experience, so you can maybe get through life a little more easily.

Please, Trust us.

And for everything that's good and lovely in the world, stop asking people to rate you.
You're worth so much more than that.

I forgot to go grocery shopping

This morning was bad. 

My husband and I were both in bad moods, we both yelled at the kids because of it, and there were half-hearted "I love you's" as he left for work. 

So what set off this cataclysmic morning?

I forgot to go grocery shopping. 

Isn't it funny how the smallest thing, like not having cereal in the house, can set a tone for the day?

Let me explain.

My husband asks only two things of me. 

Two...That's it. 

He asks for clean laundry and a full belly. 

Seriously, the house can be a wreck, the kids can be running wild (within reason), and the gas tank can be empty, but he's perfectly fine to go with the flow as long as these two needs are met. 

I, on the other hand, have many demands that change daily, and the poor man must keep up or there will be hell to pay. 

This morning, as I was posting a loving picture on Facebook of a coffee mug that he got me while he was gone over the weekend, a knot formed in my stomach as I remembered that I had forgotten to get cereal at the store yesterday. 

We had gone to walmart, so it should have jogged my memory, but we had decided to finally get the kids a trampoline (which my husband set up basically by himself, in the heat, just an hour after he got home, with no complaining), and I was so into the buying of the trampoline that I forgot. 

Plain and simple. 

So cut to this morning, I had to fess up that the only thing we had to eat or breakfast, was instant grits. 

Well, it didn't go over so well and thus today's tone was set. 

So, as I'm sitting here staring at this coffee mug that A) he went out of his way to get for me and B) he had remembered the mugs that I had specifically pointed out, I feel like an absolute jerk. 

Some people could look at this situation and feel sorry for me (I sure did at first) and think that I was right in this situation, but no, I was wrong. 

Here's the thing: I'm the CEO of Cook household management. It's my JOB to remember the cereal. It would be the same as Josh forgetting to go to work one day and then saying, "Oh, sorry, I forgot that was on my list of to-do's."

Do you see my point yet? 

I was sitting there expecting sympathy for me not doing my job. Right? 

How well would that fly in the outside world?

Yeah, it wouldn't. 

So here I am, feeling horrible because I wasn't organized enough to have a weekly menu planner and I didn't make use of my time wisely. I even have a Pinterest board specifically for these purposes, and I vow every week that if these women can do it, then so can I!

Then when it doesn't happen, it's a blow to my ego. 

Which brings me to my second point: how many of you out there would have known that we had a huge argument this morning had I not posted this blog post?

Probably no one. 

I mean, remember? I had just shared with the virtual world about how happy I was because my loving husband got me a pretty present. 

I know that I have friends on Instagram and Facebook that I sometime envy because their lives seems more out together than mine. 

But what are they not saying?

Probably the same things that I'm not saying. 

So sweet, friends, when you have a morning/afternoon/evening that resembles mine, please remember that it happens to all of us. 

Today, I'm going to the grocery store to get cereal (because I love knowing my husband's needs are met), and I'm reassuring myself that I am not alone in the daily mess of things (because I love meeting my own needs as well.) 

You are loved. Absolutely and forever loved. I love you, your spouse loves you, but most importantly, God loves you... Despite the mess and forgetfulness. 

So pull up your boot straps and march through the day with confidence!

Oh, and don't forget to get the cereal!

The Importance of Girl Time

Source

 Good morning, friends!

  I was laying in bed this morning, listening to the rain, and painting my fingernails when a big smile came across my face. 

I was thinking back to this time last year when I went on my first "date'' with who is now one of my best friends, Crystal.

  After a few personal messages were exchanged on Facebook, we set up a time to meet at her house and have a 'girl's night'. I honestly had never had one of these nights with anyone but family members, so I had no idea what to expect, especially since I hadn't ever visited with her in person. 

  Typically, a girl's night out means going out on the town and living it up with your friends and while there is nothing wrong with this, it's not who I am.

  I like personal time with friends where you can have meaningful conversations... Conversations your husbands don't necessarily want to hear. (More on that in a minute)

Crystal felt the same way.

  I finally arrived at Crystal's house after a nervous, gut-wrenching drive up the mountain, then drank a little too much wine out of nervousness and proceeded to have a great conversation while making sugar scrubs. 

 It. Was. Bliss.

 I felt like I had found out some amazing secret that only real women knew about...

 ... girl time.

  I had heard about it, but had only practiced this novelty alone with a ped-egg and The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

  Not exactly what 'girl time' meant.

source

  In the last year, I have relished every single time she and I have gotten together. She has been patient in teaching me about why we only share certain facts and info about ourselves with other girls and not our husbands (not important things, but girls stuff they don't want to hear but don't have the heart to tell you), the importance of wearing something other than holy yoga pants and Monty Python t-shirts to bed, and most importantly, that I really needed to work on being a patient and understanding wife.

  I would share situations with her that were just making my blood boil and she would calmly say, "Well, do you think this may be why so-and-so said/did this?"

  "Well, yeah, you're probably right. Dang it."

Y'all, this is why friendships are important.

  God knew knew I needed some awesome friends in my life to bounce ideas off of and to help me grow. He has placed good women in my path. Of course, I already had good women in my life (my friend, Jerian, and my sister) but I hadn't nurtured those relationships.

  I'm learning as I go.

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  Recently, I've started running again, except this time, I'm running with a wonderful friend from  church. Typically, running is a chore, but this time, we use our walking times as 'girl time'. We bounce ideas about parenting, marriage, and any other topics you think of off of each other and most nights, we stand around talking for an hour after we run. It's so uplifting and I leave with new ideas and new scriptures to chew on until our next run.

 It's so important for it to be women that you share things with.
 Yes, you can share with your husband, and you should... to a point.
 BUT, men are wired differently than we are. They don't necessarily understand venting, so when we vent, they naturally want to FIX it.
"Oh, this person/ problem has made her upset. Therefore, I should  fix this, or I should be angry at this person. Why else would she be telling me?"
Men instinctively want to protect us, so this is simply nature kicking in.
And sometimes I'm very glad it does.
 But I'm telling him because I just want him to listen. Now I see that that's where having girlfriends comes in handy.

I'm slowly coming out of my shell when it comes to having a solid group of girls I can trust and that I whole-heartedly love, and it has been amazing.

source

What do you like to do for girl time?
What benefits have you found from having amazing girlfriends?
Leave me a comment or share on my Facebook page here.

-Heather

Date Night at T's BBQ!

Hey, friends!

Guess what I got to do last night?

I got to go on a bonafide date night. 

I know. Most of you are probably saying, "A what night? Those things actually exist?!"

I had forgotten as well. 

Fortunately for us, one of my best friends and her husband celebrated their soft opening for their new bbq restaurant in town! It was the perfect excuse to slip out for the evening!

I had been looking forward to this night for a long time. I was so excited and nervous for them. I mean, if I didn't like something, I was going to have to tell them, and that would be unpleasant. 

Well, I'm super happy to report that I left there satisfied an my belly was quite happy. I wish I had gotten to choose a little bit of everything because it all looked So amazing. 

I ended up deciding on the brisket, potato salad, and wedge fries. 

I always eat my sides first so I jumped right in to my fries. 

Let me tell you friends, I wish I had ordered a to go wagon load of those. 

They were so good!

And the brisket? 

Absolute perfection. 

It was moist, tender, and smoky. 

(To those of you who know me well, I did the happy food butt wiggle.)

Josh had the pulled pork, baked beans, and fries. 

He absolutely loved the beans. 

I've never tasted beans like that before. They tasted like a combination of chili beans, pork and beans, and baked beans. So there was a sweet, spicy, smoky flavor. 

Sooo good!

If you decide to go, both bbq sauces are good, but we actually bought the spicy one to go.

 I think Josh is a customer for life now. 

The building they renovated was a bbq joint back in the day and has since been used as all kinds of weird stores. 

They worked and put countless hours into renovating it. It was nice to see the building used for it's initial purpose again. 

I didn't get pictures of most of the interior because, well, there were other people there, and I'm sure they didn't want their picture taken. 

But I was able to capture some of the decor. 

I wish you could see all of the cool knick knacks up on the rafter. 

This is one of my signs I made for them. And yes, I know, not the best picture quality. I made a total of five and they were so fun to make!

Here's another! When Tony told me what he wanted it to say, I couldn't help but laugh. 

Here's my handsome dinner date. 

All mine. 

They have reusable cups that you can bring back in for discounted refills. 

Also, check out their phone number...

How awesome is that?

Also, I knocked this entire drink in the floor approximately 30 seconds after I took this picture. 

I was so embarrassed. 

For those of you wanting to know prices and what options are available, here is  the menu for Crawdad days weekend. It will be changing after this weekend. 

Look at those prices! They also do carry out (which we'll be taking advantage of in the future for sure.)

I know many of my local readers have been excited and curious about T's, but now you don't have to be. Just head on in because they're open to the public now! 

Happy Crawdad Days weekend, guys!

-Heather

Things I'm Obsessed With: YouTube Edition

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Hey, friends!

I've recently become quite obsessed with YouTube. Before this last month, I've purely used YouTube to find episodes of the Golden Girls, craft tutorials, but mainly for music.

Recently YouTube put out a mass marketing campaign advertising vlogger channels and fortunately two of those women were Bethany Mota  and Rosina Pasino.

Well, let me tell you, friends, I'm a television connoisseur (meaning I like to sit in pajamas and watch television while shoving my face full of food), so I know what good watching is (note: The Golden Girls).





First up we have Bethany Mota:

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When I watched the first video of hers, I immediately thought that I was way too old to be watching her channel. I didn't understand her style, but her attitude just pulled me in. She's so upbeat and she helped me remember that I can like neon lamps and cute purse swag even at 27.
I especially love her roomspiration videos because it gives me a million ideas for Sofia's room!
I've been watching her videos all day and it's become something that Sofia and I bond over. She loves, loves, loves, make up and pretty stuff, so she gets excited to watch Bethany.

If you would like to visit her vlog, check it out here.







Next is Rosana Pasino (host of Nerdy Nummies):

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Can I just say that I LOVE this woman with all of my nerdy heart?! Y'all, her channel on YouTube is home to some of THE coolest nerdy foods ever! And she's hilarious to watch. I may just be saying this because time and time again people have said she reminded them of me (which must mean I'm awesome).
In all seriousness, the ease of her food projects is easy mode and they turn out looking phenomenal.
May I personally recommend the Muppet episode? We've watched that episode too many times to count.

If you wish to check out her channel, here is her channel!
(You won't be sorry)






Up next is Courtney Joseph with Women Living Well ministries:

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I stumbled upon this ministry last year and it's encouraged me so immensely. Courtney is most assuredly old fashioned when it comes to marriage and the roles of men and women, but hey, so am I! 

She is also a co-founder of Good Morning girls, which is another encouraging ministry who put out some extremely-easy-to-relate-to bible studies.

My perspective on so many things has changed thanks to this ministry. It's helped my parenting and marriage immensely as well as helped me to understand key parts of the Bible better.

Give 'em a look-see!

Women Living Well channel here.
Good Morning Girls channel here.





And last but not least is Mama Natural:

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Okay, I love this woman! She tells it like it is about being a crunchy mama. She's definitely more extreme than I am, but she just blows me away with information every single episode. If you're one of my peeps who are looking to educate yourself on clean, natural living, this is where you start. She explains everything so well and clearly. Love, love, love her!

Check out her channel here.

Well, friends, this wraps up this edition.
If you have any other ideas for the "Things I'm Obsessed With" series, let me know in the comments!

Also, follow me on Facebook here!

Happy Thursday, lovies!
-Heather

I'm Ba-aack!

Hey, friends!

I'm back finally!

 It's been a busy month, so blogging has taken a backseat unfortunately.
BUT! Here I am!

Here's a peek into what's been going on:

I made my first wedding cake! It was actually my first cake that I've made in about three years. I had to do a lot of googling to find tutorials on how to make bows and burlap flowers and to learn how to smooth buttercream, but by golly, I got it done! 

Props to my cousin for asking me to do this for her wedding when I had no experience.

She likes to live on the wild side....

We have a new kitten.

We may have acquired this kitten by me playing dirty using the super cute Sofia pout.

I'm a terrible wife, aren't I?

 Our great state of Arkansas was hit with some wicked storms. It was a somber week as the images of the aftermath flooded social media. The stories from survivors were so personal and it was absoutely heartbreaking. 

Fortunately all we had happen here at our house was a branch broke and almost fell on the car. 

Really, after knowing what could have happened, this was absolutely nothing.

Please keep Vilonia and Mayflower in your prayers, friends.

 Isaiah's birthday party was this weekend. He wanted a Dr. Who themed party and I happily obliged. 

I mean.. come on... 

It's Dr. Who.

I made chocolate dipped pretzels, bow ties made out of fruit roll ups, marshmallow adipose, and of course a Tardis cake.

It didn't turn out as well as I had hoped, so I won't share that picture. It would have turned out better, but I was caked out at that point.

 This is my gorgeous niece! She had a DEBS dance to go to. (It's like prom for Jr. High) She asked me to do her makeup for the dance and I was so happy to do it!

                                                


                                            

                                                  

                   

                                               Also.... She may take after me some....

I've entered a new business venture (yes, another one) and I've been making cake and cupcake orders for friends. This cake was made for a friend's daughter and I was fairly happy with how it turned out!

And I may have danced a little when the order was finally done...

 

This, friends, is my nephew. My sister's storage unit had been broken into, so we were cleaning up the mess when I persuaded him to joust with a Swiffer and tricycle. I even made him pose for 5 minutes while I got the picture just right.
I was laughing so hard the pictures were coming out blurry.

I'm such a good aunt...

And finally, this was my "Josh-is-gone-for-two-weeks-so-I-need-to-keep-busy project". 

 I've seen other tutorials that used a projector, but since most people don't have those hanging around, I had to improvise.

This wall originally was chocolate brown, so I painted it the same sky blue as the rest of our bedroom.

Then, I found a picture of a branch silhouette that I liked to use as reference. I used a pencil to free hand the branch and I printed and cut out swallow silhouettes, placed them on the wall with tape, then traced around them as well. 

Then, used a watercolor brush to fill in the whole thing except for the thick part by the light switch (I actually got to use a normal paintbrush for that) with black paint. 

It took forever since I had to use such a small brush, but if I had used any bigger, it would have been sloppy.

  

I'm pretty stoked at how this turned out. 

Like, super happy. It made me smile when I woke up this morning.

So that's what this lady has been up to lately.
I would love to see some projects y'all have been working on!

Happy Wednesday,  y'all!

-Heather

Garden Inspiration

Good Morning!

I'm actually getting to blog in the A.M. instead of the P.M. today. Sawyer is actually doing his school work with self motivation. When that happens, it makes for a very productive day for me.

Yipee!


This morning I'm talking about gardening.
To me, gardening is a four letter word because I'm that terrible at it. Josh says that I'd be good at it if I actually watered the plants, but it's been my experience that when I water the plants, I over water them.

 You can see how this situation would be problematic for a family that's attempting to have an urban homestead.

Well, this year, we're researching not only the foods that we want to grow, but the proper way to actually grow them. I've also been looking at Pinterest for pretty gardens. I don't just want food growing. I want a whimsical garden as well. So, we'll be incorporating herbs and other pretties I hope.

Here's some of my inspiration for making our yard and garden area pretty...

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A hammock over lavender.

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A natural fence to keep neighborhood pets out.

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Natural shade for a sitting area.

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A pretty walkway from the garden area to our shed. This one would take a lot of work because there's nothing there currently.

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I can't feasibly do this in my yard, but it would be a pretty fake creek in a country yard.

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Of course every garden fence need a gate. 

This would be so amazing at an entrance to a walking trail.

 

 

Then, of course, we have the actual garden planning...

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 This one is for a fairly large garden. My dad is planting a pretty large garden, so I'm going to print this one out for him.

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If you use pallets, make sure that they haven't been treated with chemicals, please!

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Such pretty rows!

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Here's a great use of rain gutters.

I like to call this picture The Salad Bar.

Thanks for letting me share some of my Pinspirations with you!

If you'd like to see more of my pin boards that I puled these off of, feel free to visit my boards,  How Does Your Garden Grow and Wonderland!

Happy Tuesday!

-Heather