As a youth leader in my church, I've befriended many of the teens in our youth group on Facebook. I love seeing what they're doing and pictures of them with their families. This helps me to be a part of their lives and them be a part of mine. It's being able to know if they're going through hardships outside of the church setting, where we are available 24/7.
This seems like an amazing thing, right?
Well, of course it is, silly!
However, there's been a trend popping up among every single teen I have befriended: Asking people (sometimes strangers) to rate them.
It ranges from asking people to rate their looks to whether or not they're dateable.
It seems innocent, and yes, I realize that since I'm 28, I "don't get it", and that's probably true.
But dear teens who are reading this, the reason that I "don't get it" is because I've been where you are and I've had "like a million years" to become comfortable with who I am. So, what I don't get, is why are you basing your existence on A) Other people's opinions, and B) Shallow things that are not important in the grand scheme of enter your name here?
Here, let me try an experiment, okay?
I'm going to try and read your mind for a minute.
Just roll with it.
Let's go over some of the things you might worry about in a day, okay?
Now, I'm specifically going to be speaking with the girls in these details, because, well, I wasn't a teenage boy.
*Are my clothes the right brand?
*Will people find out that my house/car/parent's employment isn't as good as their parents?
*Is my breath okay?
*Did so-and-so see me Saturday in my sweats without makeup?
*Will someone make up a new rumor about me today?
*Do I smell good?
*Where the heck did that zit come from? And will people look at it instead of the rest of my face?
*Should I lie to my parents so I can go do that really fun thing that I KNOW they'll say no to?
*Will people make fun of my religion?
*I don't really want to make fun of someone else, but everyone else is. Maybe I should join in?
* Is my boyfriend looking at another girl?
* If I don't do what he wants, will he find someone else?
*My friends are being weird today. Are they turning on me?
*Maybe I'll blow off studying for that test so I can go do something fun and social.
You get my point, right? Yes, these are things I thought as a teenager, yes, these may not be your thoughts because I'm a thousand years old and times have changed, and yes, I've always been a people pleaser and have always had confidence issues.
But you know what?
I was MISERABLE as a teenager, guys!
Would you like to know why? Because I was focused on what other people thought of me instead of what I thought of myself!
However, as a 28 year old woman, that's all changed, because, well, my perspective has changed.
This is where the whole "she doesn't get it" thing factors in.
I had all of those issues and that was before Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr, etc...
I was able to come home after school and surround myself with friends and brush off the rest of the day. You guys have it rough! You not only have to deal with all of these issues at school, but then you come home, log on to the computer, and have to sometimes deal with all over again.
So, here's my question to you:
Why do you need a rating?
You aren't a restaurant, hotel, or business on Yelp.
You are a person. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. Your "rating" should be your opinion of yourself. Plain and simple.
Instead of wondering how you rate, wonder instead about "Did I make a difference to someone today?", "Did I learn something new about the world today?", "Did I learn something new about myself today?", "Did I help someone who needed it today?", "Did I accomplish all that I could today?"
These years for you guys are crucial. You're in survival mode right now. You just try and make it through the day some days. These years are put in place so us "old folks" to help you along, so you can get a lot of things figured out about yourself before being launched into the grown up world.
When we give advice, wanted or not, it's from experience, so you can maybe get through life a little more easily.
Please, Trust us.
And for everything that's good and lovely in the world, stop asking people to rate you.
You're worth so much more than that.
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