You've got questions... I've got answers

You all know some things about me. I love my family, I love my coffee, I love the south, I'm into herbs, I calls it as I sees it, and I'm not embarrassed of letting you guys inside my head.

It occurred to me that you guys may have other questions about me. I'm opening up this post and letting you ask me questions about anything (and I mean anything) and I'll happily answer.

Just leave a comment on here or on my Facebook page and when I get enough, I'll do an answer post.

Hopefully this will be fun!

-Heather

Shower Psychotherapy

I would like to think I'm a fairly confident person. I state my opinion and stand by it, I have no problem talking with strangers, I LOVE public speaking, I have never backed down from a fight that was worth fighting, and most of the time I love the person that I'm becoming.

Now I can honestly say that all of this flies out the window when it comes to my marriage.

We have a great  marriage, don't get me wrong. Josh never makes me feel like I'm not good enough... I do that to myself.




Some days Josh is quiet and grumpy, mostly in the mornings. He's not a morning person. Of course, 90% of the time he's just trying to wake up or he's going over his to-do list in his head.

But do I ever just leave it at that in my head?

Hell no...

I come up with ridiculous scenarios about what's "really" going on in his head.

Josh was having a quiet morning and so I texted him asking what was wrong and what I could do to make it better. I was feeling horrible because he was upset about something.

Here was my conversation with myself in the shower this morning after not getting an immediate reply from him...

"Okay, he was grumpy this morning.
He was probably just tired.
But what if he wasn't?
Oh God, what am I doing wrong?
Okay, think. 
Was I yelling this morning? No?
Okay, moving on.
Was it because I've lost my spunk that he used to love?
I mean I have... but it's because I've matured, right?
Oh no! Are we growing apart?
No, no... We still have similar interests. We're fine on that front.
Right?
Shut up, Heather. Move on....
Okay, is he tired of me waking up in yoga pants and Star Wars shirts?
Arrgh! I've become "that" wife in the mornings!
I need to be sexier.
No, scratch that. I love my sleep.
I'll just start slapping some mascara on and brush my hair in the mornings.
Close enough.
*gasp*
Is it because I'm being a poser by wearing a Star Wars shirt when I've never seen all the movies?
I would be pissed if he wore a Dr. Who shirt when I knew he couldn't appreciate the deeper meaning of the show.
No... He's a Trekkie... That's not it.
Is it because I've put weight back on?
Okay, I need to start running again. I was getting in great shape and then I quit.
I quit everything I start.
Crap, is it because I'm a quitter?
Does that make him think I'm a commitment-phobe?
Well, I'm not. I'll show him. I'll kick his ass at getting in shape.
Gosh- I'm out of breath just from taking a shower.
But that's because I smoke- not because I'm out of shape.
Is it because I've started smoking more?
Okay, if that's it, he'll just have to deal.
Gosh my legs are pale.
When he married me I was so tan.
Maybe he misses me being super dark. I looked healthier.
Okay, I'll put more self tanner on.
Wait, will that make me orange?
Eh- worth a shot.
Crap, does he have clean work pants?
Maybe that's it!
Well, if that's it, he can wash his own damn clothes.
Oh, that was so mean of me.
I'll go start a load of laundry when I get out of the shower.
Is it another woman?
No, Heather. He wouldn't do that.
*giggles* If there ever were another woman, she can deal with him in the mornings.
I need to paint my nails.
I'll never be super feminine.
Maybe that's what he wants.
Nah, he likes a natural looking girl in t-shirts and jeans.
But he DID try and get me to buy dresses and heels once.
Did he want to see me in that, or did he think I would enjoy it?
Add to to-do list: get sundress and cowboy boots. A good compromise.
I need to figure out what's for dinner.
You know- I haven't been cooking like I used to.
Men love food. Does he feel like I don't love him if I don't feed him well?
Nah, I didn't cook when we first got married and he knew I loved him.
What the heck is it?
*hears my text message tone*
I bet that's him.
*turns off shower and goes to look at phone*
This is it, Heather. Moment of truth."
 *looks*

"I'm good now. Just need some wake up. Love you!"

Seriously?

No... I know I am.... And this proves it to anyone who doubted.