1) It's part of our nature.
Yes, this is kind of an excuse. However, I feel like I excuse men for many of their tendencies and I chalk it up to the whole "Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars" theory. There are some things that are just bred into us. That doesn't mean these are things that we don't have to work on. Yes, it's human nature, but there are lots of tendencies that individuals are born with that need work and maintenance.
2) 90% of the time we have already told you what the problem is.
Don't believe me? Ask the lovely lady in your life. I know personally, once I have nailed down exactly what's bugging me, I express it in Layman's terms for my darling hubby. Why would I make it harder for him to understand? Why would I intentionally prolong the fixing process? I wouldn't. That's more work for me and I find it incredibly silly that you men would think we would like to make it a game. Obviously there are exceptions. Some people thrive on games in their relationships, but I would hope to think that's not common.
3) At some point we tire of repeating ourselves. (Silent treatment)
I hate, hate, hate feeling like a nag. Men joke about their nagging wives often. Have you ever stopped to think that we have to nag ourselves to death because our needs were not met, even after expressing them? Hmm? If your wife has entered the silent treatment phase, she's pissed, and you have some work to do. For me, when I'm to this point, I have expressed my needs and concerns, they were not tended to, I have repeated them, an they were still not met. Sooo... What else is there to talk about?
The silent treatment isn't about making you feel guilty or bad. Believe it or not, when she's silent, she's actually considering your feelings. When I'm to this point with hubby, if he asks me what's wrong, I will spew everything out in feeling vomit.
It's not productive and I'm needing time to process so I can kindly tell him (yet again) what's bothering me. No games, just processing it all.
4) Know what? You SHOULD know what's wrong without us telling you. (Being cryptic)
I feel this should only be the case if you have been together for a long time. At this point in my marriage, we have been together for 8 years. I feel that we have had enough talks about annoyances and feelings that he should have a good idea of why I'm irritated. So, yes, I can be cryptic at times because I feel like I shouldn't have to spell it out for him. Likely, I already have told him (see above) and that he should know me well enough to look at what's been going on lately and discern where the problem lies. Am I asking too much? Maybe. But I feel I give him the same courtesy. If he seems stressed and says it's nothing, I (over) analyze what's happened recently, draw my conclusion, give him space to work through his feelings, and then when the problem is spoken about between the two of us, I continuously make the effort to meet his needs. Why is it hard for men to get that? To me, it's just being respectful and kind to your spouse, right? Common sense.
These are my speculations about the crypticness of women. Men, if you actually got through all of this feeling crap, then I have to congratulate you. Here's a reward for you, a nice pair of boobies.
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