Why I'm excited for back-to-school: It's not why you think.

*WARNING: Soapbox session about to commence*

I haven't much thought about what it means when parents say "I'm exhausted! I'm ready for school to start back!"..  Until recently when I had a friend bring it up on Facebook. It just never crossed my mind as an issue. It was something that I heard regularly growing up, so it was just something parents said, right?

Why are parents so excited for school to go back in session? 

Usually the most popular answer is because they're tired and are ready for a break. 

What does that say to your child who overhears it?

"Mom/ Dad can't wait for me to get out of their hair. Am I a burden?"

Most likely they aren't reading into it that consciously. However, some might, and there is that implication behind it. 

You can't really take that statement any other way. 

We as parents made a conscious decision to have our children and raise them. 

Instantly that means we made the decision to make them feel special, important, wanted. If you feel they are a burden, remember, you chose this to be a "burden" you wanted. 

I absolutely have days where I'm like, "I'm so ready for bedtime. I need a reset. Tomorrow will be better." 

See, that's completely different from saying, "I can't handle this much time with my kid and I'm ready to send them off to a public babysitter." 

Okay, okay, that's a bit harsh. But do you see my point?

Like I said, I had never payed attention nor saw it from that perspective until recently. 

No, not all parents are maliciously thinking this. 

I know some who are. Seriously. 

So here are my reasons for why I'M glad my kids are heading back to school. 

1) They get to see old friends and make new ones. 

They certainly don't get to do much of that here with their parents. 

2) They'll have wonderful, influential teachers. 

I wouldn't have thought about this before, but Sawyer's teachers last year changed my mind. 

They will always be his first teachers and I couldn't be happier that they are his first memories of school. 

3) I get one-on-one time with Sofia. 

During the summer I get to spend a lot of quality time with the kids. Before Sawyer went into preschool, I had a lot of special time with just him. We danced, learned, and made memories of just us. It was nice. I'll get to do that with Sofia now. 

4) Those "I missed you" after school hugs are the best. I don't get those in the summer. 

5) I get to hear stories from school. 

There is something about my child sharing stories without me asking that warms my heart. 

6) "Mom! Guess what I learned today!"

He learns things at school that I never would have thought to teach him... And he loves to share. 

7) I get to shop!

Clothes, shoes, backpacks, oh my!

It's neat to see how Sawyer's personality and tastes change from one year to the next. 

8) I love seeing Sawyer become more independent every year. 

He's pretty fearless, but there's always apprehension on a parents part when you just go and drop them off all day without you. 

Seeing him just charge ahead reassures me we're doing something right. 

I'm a little misty-eyed right now, so I'll wrap this post up. 

Our school is back in session on the 19th so we're going to soak up the rest of Summer as much as possible. 

What are some of your favorite back-to-school moment?

I Challenge Myself to: Listen

Brutal honesty, I have a loud mouth. 

Okay, okay, we all know this.

 I'm a blogger, we have a lot of thoughts floating around in there that absolutely MUST be spoken. 

Okay, I guess you don't have to be a blogger for that to happen, but we must be extra talkative since we make a living doing this. 

Where does the problem lie with talking about everything that may be in my head for even a nano-second? 

Well, my dears, when you're busy talking, when do you get the chance to listen?

Point-in-case:

My husband and I have been going through a really, really awkward transition in our marriage. 

The kids are getting older, I'm about to start going back to school, he's got military goals he's aiming for... We're all on different pages right now. 

Everything is new, so we're slowly feeling things out. 

I've been doing the stay-at-home mom thing for so long and have been so diligent in it, that I just realized in the last few weeks (with Josh's blunt help) that I have thrown my husband into the same category as the kids. 

I didn't even trust him to take Sofia to the nursery by himself at church. 

I mean, what was I expecting? 

Would they get lost in a closet only to be transported to Narnia?

Somewhere along the way, I had subconsciously decided he was a drooling, cranky, indecisive two year old who must be corrected at all times. 

So where does over-sharing fit in?

I have been openly talking with (at) Josh about what I thought were all the problems in our marriage. 

Of course I came out looking pretty after using him as stepping stones through the mud. 

I would get frustrated when he would just shut down and not talk with me. 

The silence between one sentence to the next was excruciating. 

I couldn't figure out why it was so hard for him to just say what was on his daggum mind. 

Then tonight, it just hit me, when In the last 8 years has he gotten to share without repercussion? 

NEVER. 

I have a habit of saying, "I didn't act wrong. I was only reacting to how you made me feel."

Yeah, you can't really do that for an entire lifetime. 

So, tonight I am challenging myself to listen. 

Just listen and not speak unless it's encouraging and kind. 

It sounds easy to do, but Lord knows my lips will be bloody from biting them. 

Cause you know, I know EVERYTHING and I MUST share it. 

Wish me luck and send us prayers. 

Has your family ever gone through a tough transition? 

Have you ever had to sit back and let go of the control? 

The fork in the road cuts like a knife

I've had some of you kindly remind me that I haven't posted in a good while.

Yes, this is true.

I've been busy because it's summer and- can I be honest?- I've been sort of... going crazy I suppose?

I kind of wish I had about two weeks in a log cabin, tucked away in the pine trees at the top of a mountain, where I heard no noise other than snow falling.

That may be just enough time to figure out what on Earth is going on with me.

If it is even me that's the instigator.

You see, I have a bad habit of blaming myself for everything that has ever gone/ will go wrong in my life.

I have no problem saying, "Oh, yeah. I did this. I acted this way. I'm sorry. I'll change."

Here's the thing.

Sometimes... sometimes I get tired of being the one who usually does the changing... or admits wrong doings... or talks about feelings... or sees that there is a relationship at a fork in the road...

It's exhausting.

I rarely get to a point where I just want to say,
"I can't deal with this right now. Just leave me alone."

I am there right now.

I figure it's time for me to just shut my mouth and my brain up, and let others do the mental heavy lifting for a bit.

I'm still plenty willing to have a dialogue with people, I just don't want to instigate it any longer.

At least not until my mental vacation is over.

Who knows what will happen.

Life is an adventure like that I suppose.

Wish me luck and say a prayer.

Here we go in 3...2...